growing up sucks

so it looks like we sold the house, brandon is going to the air force and candis is moving to her parents house for a little while, and as for myself......well i am going house hunting in slc today, i guess its a good move since i am in slc all the time and the bountiful golds gym is around the corner. big problem though...i have to find a place that will take my dog, mindi my friend wants to live together, not real sure if its a good idea if we do but we will see i guess.

lol

life has been up and down for the past few weeks, still hitting the gym everyday and i havent lost a pound but i am gaining lots of muscle but the upside to it all is that i am feeling great about myself and im getting healthy.

we just got back from vegas on monday for brandons wedding, it was realy good, we had a blast out there, just non stop partying, lots of good friends but not all the friends. i think that if and when i get married it will be out of state, and i will be disapointed too, cuz i know there are some of my friends that wont make an effort to travel for it, sad really cuz its true.

so why are some people so dumb, hey lets pretend to be interested in you but when i see you with your friends lets not pay any attention to you, but your friend was hella cute and not the one that was telling me that you had a boyfriend.....ha ha classic!

yelling and nobody knows.

i have sat here staring at this blank page for an hour trying to fugure out what i want to say, so i try and figure it out while i type lol

so today was kinda lame, i was in a great mood then my bosses came to work and then it went to shit, i found out how shady and greedy they are, its sad cuz i sorta looked up to them, they lost all respect i had for them, i cant really go in to detail on what happened but its just shady. i was really frustrated today and i needed someone to talk to but no one really had time so i dealt it in my own way. i took a nap haha not the greatest way to deal with things but it works for me, it helps me bottle it up, but i did release it in the gym today, ran on the tread mill for 30 minutes and the illiptical for 20, there was good motovation next to me the whole time but like a goof i am my ipod fell and shot behind me and it was embarssing but i got through it and ran harder.

for the last week i have been house sitting for my uncle in sugarhouse, its nice to be alone and not be bothered but i am soooooooooo fuckin bored here! but ill be back to normal life on monday but then on wed we leave for vegas and god do i need a vacation so bad, we are going down cuz brandon and candis are getting married, most of our friends will be there so its going to be hella fun. but i am done ranting and its time for bed.

wrestler

so i havent been here in a bit, so things are up and down right now in my life, i have been pretty lonely lately and things are moving too fast for me to grip on, i just need to break for once in life.


i watched the wrestler tonight and there was a part where he and his daughter had it out, she gave him a lot of chances but he screwed up and she told him to never come around, its funny cuz in a way that is the way i am with my dad, i havent seen him in 7ish years and i really dont know what would happen if i did see him again, he is just worthless to me now. where was he when i needed a father.....


hmmmm

blah blah blah

ok so i havent really updated this in a while so here i am, brandon and candis are getting married in vegas on may 15 2009, that should be fun,most of our friends will be there so its gonna be a great time! work is getting better everyday, well for the most part, connie one of my work friends and the person whom i am with all day everday has gone for materity leave, i am hella bummed cuz i really dont talk to anyone else at work. ummm oh with the gym thing, i have been going everyday for a month and i have yet lost any weight but i have gotten alot more toned which is fuckin awesome!

the other night i had a dream that my brother came in to my room and asked me what my deal has been for awhile, and all i said is its cuz im lonely...

that was a weird and yet truthful dream...yes i am lonely but its not how it seems.

hmm

ok so i did it! i joined golds gym tonight, ryan and brandon kicked my ass real good and they are going to contunie to do so until i am back at 150ish, it feels good but the 533 was hard to give up, i was saving that money for a trip but i needed this and now that i did it, it feels good, i had a great workout and plan on doing so either eveyday after work or everyother day. so my step is in front of me and i and see it! now i just have to find the will power to go foward.


last night i had dinner with my uncle and aunt and we ate pretty well as usual, they are great cooks, but we also had a great conversation about my life, seeing on how i dont have anyone else to really talk too, they listen to me and offer advice which is really helpful for me.

steps

ok so its time, time to start my next journey, figure out what is the next step in life, a few weeks ago i started to eat meat again, one morning i woke up and called cale, i asked him if he wanted to do breakfast with me so we went to sills cafe and i ordered steak and eggs, it was crazy to have that in my mouth after 9 years, i mean i have been craving it for so long that i forgot how it tastes, so now i have meat almost everyday at work.

so about this stepping stone...i was talking to my uncle today and he was telling me that i need to try new things, so one thing that has been in the back of my head is the gym and my teeth, i am going to research gyms and join one, its just time to get back in shape, and my teeth....well its just fuckin time! found out that my dental insurance will cover 1500 so i will make the appointment to get it started.